I lived 37 years without knowing this. I think I am officially kicked out of the girl’s club
My mom was married. I have had girlfriends over the years that got married and showed off their engagement rings. I have watched several TV commercial s over the years convincing people “to say it with diamonds”. But somehow I got this ring thing all wrong.
Looking back I guess I did wonder what the wedding ring would look like if the engagement rings I was seeing were so humongous and sparkly. I thought they must have hooked up with one rich fella.
Yesterday, while researching engagement rings it got hazy. Then it got clear. See, I always thought the engagement ring was a starter, smaller ring to hold you over until you got the actual wedding ring. As it turns out, I had it backwards. The funny part is that I had to immediately talk to my married friend to confirm this NEWS because I was so dumbfounded. Ha, ha.
How could I have not picked up on this over the years?
Anyway, it turns out that the engagement ring is the biggie. Traditionally, you get a big, fancy engagement ring then you get a smaller, simpler wedding band to exchange during the ceremony. Come to think of it, I have heard the term “my wedding band” before but was not paying attention enough to put two and two together.
I have read that most women get these two rings at the same time to make sure that the wedding band will fit nicely and can be worn with the engagement ring. I have also read that some women will wear only the wedding band when the engagement ring is cumbersome or you are worried about messing it up, like at your fire fighting or water quality job or when you are ice climbing (Ha! Some day maybe).
I also know things aren’t what they used to be. Women are very much departing from tradition on some things, if not entirely, when it comes to getting married. I understand that no hard, fast rules apply and that many women do in fact get separate rings – a smaller one for the engagement and then the fancy one of the marriage as I had originally assumed.
So this new knowledge is great but where does it leave me? Well, confused.
For various reasons I might go into later, Shawn didn’t give me an engagement ring when I said yes. That means that I have to decide how I want to handle the engagement and wedding rings. Do I want to go with a simple ring now and a fancy, bigger one later? Do I want to wait until we have picked out a set to get the traditional engagement ring and wedding band? Do I want to save the money and forgo an engagement ring all together and just get a wedding ring for when we get married?
I have lots of thoughts about this. A detail that complicates the issue is that I am likely going to try to incorporate my mom’s ring into the wedding ring which will very likely take custom design and have to wait a while.
What do you think? What did you do?